wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize