drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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