Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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