? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
