i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
