This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
