Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
