Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
