brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
