haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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