i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Your cock deserves a montage
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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