I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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