So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
