Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
