let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Be still, my beating vagina.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
