No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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