How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
