dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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