Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
