so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
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He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
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umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize