That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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