is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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