First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
two words: eviction party
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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