i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
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