CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
