I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
