Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
