Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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