she looked like the bat from fern gully.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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