Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
