are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Fuck appropriateness.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
how do you play pong handcuffed?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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