Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
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