you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize