in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
