So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
