sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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