if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
