Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Four minutes until I can fart!
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
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It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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