i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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