so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
