Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
