Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
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