A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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