i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
