I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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