words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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