I can't breathe out the right side of my face
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
