Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
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he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
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He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize