is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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