I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...