u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
false alarm, still single
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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