One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused