Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too

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(781): i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too http://tfl.nu/262s

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(310): View more from California

Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies

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(310): Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies http://tfl.nu/s7p4

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(518): View more from New York

haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting

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(518): haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting http://tfl.nu/19oh

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(+52): View more from Mexico

I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore

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(+52): I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore http://tfl.nu/b0tv

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.

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(780): Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero. http://tfl.nu/3vt3

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(518): View more from New York

you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face

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(518): you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face http://tfl.nu/32pr

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(805): View more from California

my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.

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(805): my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad. http://tfl.nu/fiwi

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(443): View more from Maryland

He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him

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(443): He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him http://tfl.nu/8x14

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(817): View more from Texas

They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.

(214): View more from Texas

Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.

(817): View more from Texas

You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.

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(817): They asked me to help them shop for lingerie. (214): Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better. (817): You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for. http://tfl.nu/hqk4

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(620): View more from Kansas

She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever

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(620): She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever http://tfl.nu/3n5f

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(703): View more from Virginia

Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me

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(703): Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me http://tfl.nu/ff5t

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.

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(717): I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees. http://tfl.nu/sibe

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(937): View more from Ohio

They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.

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(937): They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks. http://tfl.nu/nsc0

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(434): View more from Virginia

Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.

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(434): Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them. http://tfl.nu/1lvf

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(404): View more from Georgia

You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.

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(404): You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody. http://tfl.nu/yk6b

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