I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.