I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
