Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
Follow @tfln