ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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