Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
