once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
