I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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