I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
